Chronicles of Lardbutt

I once had a friend named Lardbutt. That was our name for him anyway. He wasn’t really that chubby but the name stuck. Lardbutt was OK but he was one of those people that thought he had to do things to impress people. He was always doing something that always backfired.
We were all at an afternoon party at someone’s apartment. It was a sunny, summer afternoon and the windows were open and the front door was open with just a screen door. Everyone was drinking and talking and having a good time.
After a while, Lardbutt apparently decided to impress everyone with his macho ability. He went to the kitchen and found a 2 quart Tupperware pitcher. He went from person to person asking them to pour a little of their drink into his pitcher. It didn’t matter what they were drinking. Some were drinking beer, some wine and a few were drinking hard liquor.
Finally, when his container was about half full of noxious looking brown fluid, he announced to everyone in general in an overly loud voice that he was going to chug the whole thing. Everyone turned to watch. Lardbutt chugged and chugged the whole thing down. When he was finished he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looked at everone and smiled with self satisfaction. After about two seconds he got a strange look on his face, turned his head and puked a perfect stream at least six feet through the air and through the screen door, splashing on the porch beyond. Unidentified chunks stuck to the screen which acted like a perfect filter.
After a universal groan from the assembled guests, the entire party sat their unfinished drinks down and left without saying a word to each other. The party was over.