Chronicles of Lardbutt, Pt. 3

One beautiful summer morning we were driving through a small beach city on our way to our favorite surf spot. We pulled up to the only red light in town. To our right was an attractive young woman looking rather sullen, seated at a bus bench. Lardbutt was in the front right passenger seat. He looked at the girl and said something like, “Hey what’s your name?”. The girl gave him a grumpy look and said nothing. Lardbutt, in an effort to look cool, lost his smile and said loudly, “Hey, eat shit!”. The girl looked back at him and without missing a beat, said, “OK, jump on a plate!” Lardbutt’s mouth dropped open, the light changed, and we drove away. The rest of us howled about it throughout the day and continued to talk about it the rest of the week. To this day it is one of the best come-backs I’ve ever heard.